You call yourself avoidant. But what I see is a person desperate for control over abandonment.
You’d rather abduct yourself from your own life than wait to find out if it disappoints you.
That’s not distance. That’s disappearance.
And I understand what you’ve been calling it:
Independence.
Wisdom.
Strength.
But it isn’t any of those things.
It’s you leaving your own life story on somebody else’s doorstep and expecting us not to ask about the parents.